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About Varied / Hobbyist Core Member MelanieFemale/United States Groups :iconpour-out-your-soul: Pour-Out-Your-Soul
For soulful poets~
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Deviant for 4 Years
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Literature
Arterial

Feeling encased in grief

Feeling used and deceived
As I watch the cold liquid
Drip into my warm vein-
I try to push away the
Feelings of such sadness-
I want to walk away from
All the painful thoughts
To bury them deep within
Never to be seen again-
That’s just a pipe dream-
My cynical stare will stay-
I may never smile the same-
I have no rhyme left in me-
No reason for hoping and
Left with my memories of
Something that was always
Just a fading ghost of a
Happier time in my life-
6/22/17
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 2 0
Literature
Shrapnel


This feeling within
 
Tears me up inside-
 
Like having broken
 
Shards of glass that
 
Rip through my skin-
 
Leaving trials of blood
 
Behind in their wake-
 
Later there will be
 
Trapped fragments and
 
Complicated scars to
 
Remember this by-
 
Nothing to erase what
 
                       
Could have been-
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 4 3
Literature
Thunderstorm

No moon seen tonight

Hot, humid dark skies-
Heat lightning streaks and
The clouds are full of
Rain waiting to descend-
But they hold back with
Loud, gloomy threats
And blazing luster above-
These clouds dominate
The heavens explicitly
Holding a deluge at bay-
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 4 2
Literature
Unforgotten

All those varied green eyes

Staring through my memories
Haunting me daily-
Making me ask myself
“Why do you let this happen?”
And finding no answers-
It felt right at the time but now
Hurts to the very gut-
‘Life isn’t fair’ is what I’ve learned
Life often sucks and we suffer
At the discrepancies of others-
No answers it seems
Just mind-crushing questions
And scary loneliness waiting-
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 3 4
Literature
Iron

I thought I lost myself

Without you in my life
But I’m still in there
Damaged but found
Everything I hold in
Leads me back to you
And the others in my past
The cuts are deep and have
Scarred me more than I’d
Like to admit right now
My trust will be absent
While I heal from this
But, survive I will, always
Because I am iron and
Though I may rust a little
I am strong at the core
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 3 0
Literature
Lost Memory

Tightness and aching

Breathing deeply
My pain absorbs me-
Layers of pain
So deep that I forget
Some are there-
The basest shades of
Pain are old and well-
Rooted inside
I am so used to their
Presence that
I don’t remember the
Feeling of being
Pain-free at all now-
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 2 0
Literature
6-14-17

A month has passed since you left

I’m still at a loss-
What should I be thinking?
What should I be feeling?
Everyone thinks this is so easy
But inside I’m still a wreck-
I look at the big bright moon
Snuggled into stormy clouds
And I think of you
Wondering if you think of me too
Sometimes-
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 2 0
Literature
Fading Out

Torn traces of my past memories

Creep in on me time after time-
Perfect visions of my reveries
I prefer to be in time after time-
In lucid dreaming I would dwell
To enjoy pleasures time after time-
Taking a day at the overcast beach
For some relaxing time after time-
My mind builds a place to live and
Dwell there always time after time-
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 3 0
Literature
Reflection

I wish I could still embrace

My burning tears to let them fall
Letting all the emotional pain
Spill away from me until I’m free-
But I think I’m incapable of crying
For my misery and for my past
I’m caught in the frozen stare
Of Medusa in my mirror each day
Waiting for the stone face to crack
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 3 2
Literature
No Way Out
It hurts so badly
That I cannot explain
How I can possibly
Deal with the pain?
Stress plays a part on
How bad the pain is
And I’ve had my share
No time to truly relax
Or have any kind of fun
No time to be the real me
Anguish of a chronic
Condition makes life
Harder to walk into
The next day face-up
But I do manage when
There’s no way out
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 2 0
Literature
Embrace

Let go of the memories?

Never will I
They are part of what makes
Me who I am
To take even a bit of that away
Might crush me
I will find my way without loss
Of history
I will lead my own way out
Of darkness
Because I am the only one
Truly invested
I am the sole one who needs
To embrace me
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 3 0
Literature
The Last?

This is not the last poem

I will allow myself to vent if
I need to
 
These are not the last words
I will speak upon this matter
Not the last
 
I feel in my heart you are sad
I feel that you also miss me
But still
 
I read your words and I know
That you know because you leave
Little clues
 
Little nuances of me will always
Linger with you- never completely
Dead
 
This could have been handled
So much better than it has with
Us as friends
 
You like to have the last words
But then so do I, my former ‘dear’,
So do I
 
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 4 0
Literature
The Itch
Unsuspecting alone time
Meant to be so soothing
But, grating on my nerves
Like a sandstone on my skin
My mind won’t rest right now
To allow the healing it needs
Restless as I am, I still feel
Weary in my broken soul
Every ballad is more relatable
Than ever were before now
Why does the feeling persist?
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 4 8
Mermaid by EvilScarrlett Mermaid :iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 0 2
Literature
The Star

Spent this night

Divining my future
What an awesome
Journey it has been-
My outcome card
Is The Star- the key
Word is serendipity-
It’s a great feeling
To know that even
Through the fight
I will still survive
And maybe flourish- 
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 5 3
Literature
Apparition

Memories of him

Like a familiar ghost
Of the past that still
Invades my days
And moonlit nights-
Cascading over my
Mind like a dream
Hard to wake from,
Not easily forgotten-
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 4 3

Favourites

Literature
Voices Again
“Give your pain some release
And let the agony start to cease.
Your friends need never know
How far you decided to go…”
 
The voices are back in my head,
By stress and depression, always fed…
They ring again, again, and again,
Causing me so much bitter pain,
Breaking me down to whimper and cry,
Breaking me down ‘til I want to die…
 
“Your friends don’t need you
So give in to the Blue.
Leave them all behind,
No one will really mind…”
 
I stare into the dark abyss
Into the feelings I didn’t miss…
Feeling them again consume me
As I return to insanity.
This time however, unlike before,
I have someone I want to fight for…
 
“You know, she doesn’t really care…
You know, she doesn’t want you there…
She’d probably really love it if
You finally j
:iconZeroSanity2713:ZeroSanity2713
:iconzerosanity2713:ZeroSanity2713 8 13
Literature
Thrown Together
Staring at stanza after stanza, all crossed out,
The writer inside me is filled with doubt…
Throwing together words that don’t fit together…
When will he recover? Will he ever?
 
I’ve almost forgotten how to write…
…Actually I suppose that isn’t quite right,
It’s not really that I don’t know,
It’s that my words have lost their flow…
 
Rhymes thrown next to each other
And I can’t help but wonder
If I will ever
Get my shit together…
:iconZeroSanity2713:ZeroSanity2713
:iconzerosanity2713:ZeroSanity2713 7 2
Literature
Cowardly and Weak?
Some say it’s cowardly to end the pain,
To leave the world, never return again…
Some say it’s weak to cut your wrists
As a distraction, a way to resist…
Go to Hell, and try and come out sane
Before you judge those in endless pain.
You arrogant, judgemental fucking prick,
I wish you knew how you make me sick…
:iconZeroSanity2713:ZeroSanity2713
:iconzerosanity2713:ZeroSanity2713 8 2
Literature
So Far...
Dragging my feet over the ground,
Voices ring, I can’t stand the sound.
They echo deep within my mind
As I try in vain to leave them behind…
They say that I’m not good enough
To see this life through.
Their words batter me, so rough
As I start to see Blue…
There is no end in sight,
No shining figure of white,
But if I keep walking I might
Find that gleaming light
My one true reason to fight…
I’d need to fly or walk on water
To finally in person, really see Her
And it doesn’t matter
That I’ll probably never
Actually make it there
I’ll still try to fight forever…
:iconZeroSanity2713:ZeroSanity2713
:iconzerosanity2713:ZeroSanity2713 22 29
Violet by Aeternum-designs Violet :iconaeternum-designs:Aeternum-designs 72 0
Literature
Echoes


Won't the ache in my chest cease?
Won't the tears at the edge of my eyes evaporate?
Won't the foolish hoping turn to ruins?
How dare I think it ever may?
How dare I wish it true?
How dare I let on?

:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 8 12
Literature
Inside Shadows
Inside shadows
Where nothing was
But heavy breaths and me
And the beating inside my chest
And the flow of my blood to my brain,
Death hovered.
Like waves upon a shore,
Fear crept towards and away.
Ascending and descending.
Rising and falling,
Like sand grains scattering at times
And decaying at others.
All the stars that once inhabited my world,
Bursted one after one.
All the ladders I used to climb to get there,
Crumbled beneath.
All the magical spells I created with love and obsession,
Conjured no magic.
What I was before and what I was then,
Didn't matter.
Didn't mean a thing.
Didn't hold a value.
Only what I was to become.
Or rather
What was to become of me.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 11 3
Literature
What to remember anyway?
What to remember anyway?
Growing up from afar? 
The screaming? 
There was so much screaming! 
The angry scowls? 
The pain of the stabs? 
Even more so, the pain in my chest, every time? 
The hugs I never had? 
The kisses I never felt? 
The touches that never lingered, never were? 
Am I cruel for saying this?
Have I become so heartless?
Did I just lose my humanity?
What to remember?
Compassion and love
Barely there
Like they were in a constant state of dissolving
Fading into days and years? 
And tears that never seemed to stop? 
I do not know what love is
They cannot blame me
These words I did not choose
My past is writing it
My memories shape my mouth.
I do not know what love is
My life has been hard on me
And my heart did not learn to appreciate
And bleed for someone else
Someone sacred and blessed 
Someone favored by God and nature
Someone cherished by all creatures.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 12 11
Literature
What is this?
What is this?
Where did the weight on my chest go? 
Why does my heart feel so light?
So suddenly? 
I feel as if a hole is pierced inside my chest
And the air I breathe just passes through
It doesn't linger
It doesn't choke me anymore.
Where are the tears that collect
Every time I think of you? 
Where is the sound of blood in my ears
Every time I wish to hold you? 
My heart does not accelerate
Anymore
At the mere image of you
Inside my head. 
So suddenly
My desire is fading 
You are slipping away
What is this? 
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 6 13
Literature
v.
There's a monster scratching inside my wrist,
I know what it wants, and I can barely resist...
:iconZeroSanity2713:ZeroSanity2713
:iconzerosanity2713:ZeroSanity2713 7 20
Literature
LUNAR STORM
Shipped wrecked in a bottle
Dreaming underwater
Weighted to the earth
Under the gravity of the moon
Falling through the sands of time
Castaway, on the tide of change
Riding the crest of a wave
The rise and fall of night and day
Weightless, in between the spaces
Constant, escaping skies of violet
Marooned in the twilight of the abyss
:iconRJBG:RJBG
:iconrjbg:RJBG 17 1
Literature
IN THE ACT OF GOD
Blurred vision
Bloodied
Carry out the dead
A dying heart
A bleeding soul
A lost religion
:iconRJBG:RJBG
:iconrjbg:RJBG 6 1
Literature
There We Were
you cannot fix me.
i cannot fix you.
we are not each other's saviours.
you never were and never will be
mine alone.
but i will never stop reminiscing that
there we were.
there we were on October 15th,
thinking we had it all.
there we were, electric,
smiling, unfazed,
happy.
we were each other's redemption.
you were mine
for a short period of time.
i did not fix you but i stayed.
you did not fix me but you tried.
:iconelextrified:elextrified
:iconelextrified:elextrified 9 12
Literature
Half-Dead, Numb Head
I’m not as good as I once was
My brain’s now filled with illiterate fuzz…
I write these rhymes, cold and bland,
And it’s becoming more than I can stand…
 
The writer inside me is half-dead,
I’m now relying on my numb head…
I don’t know how to find a way
To remember what to write or say…
:iconZeroSanity2713:ZeroSanity2713
:iconzerosanity2713:ZeroSanity2713 9 9
Literature
Picture of Pain
My poems don’t come from the brain,
They come from happiness and pain.
My works of so-called art
Come from the soul and heart…
 
When I write, my mind
Is left well and truly behind.
My soul instead, leaks out
With each line that I silently shout…
 
As the pen slides over the page
        (Passing the time)               
The soul wanders for an age,
         (Struggling to rhyme)
The soul searches through the brain,
         (For words to say)
And the pen writes a picture of pain
         (Letting sanity slip away)
:iconZeroSanity2713:ZeroSanity2713
:iconzerosanity2713:ZeroSanity2713 10 7
Things I don't want to forget!! <3

Critiques

by XRlS

I have submitted this drawing for a DD because it surpasses anything I've seen. Your art always impresses me but this one is really ama...

Activity



Feeling encased in grief

Feeling used and deceived

As I watch the cold liquid

Drip into my warm vein-

I try to push away the

Feelings of such sadness-

I want to walk away from

All the painful thoughts

To bury them deep within

Never to be seen again-

That’s just a pipe dream-

My cynical stare will stay-

I may never smile the same-

I have no rhyme left in me-

No reason for hoping and

Left with my memories of

Something that was always

Just a fading ghost of a

Happier time in my life-

6/22/17

Arterial
written while getting my infusion for my RA
Loading...


This feeling within

 

Tears me up inside-

 

Like having broken

 

Shards of glass that

 

Rip through my skin-

 

Leaving trials of blood

 

Behind in their wake-

 

Later there will be

 

Trapped fragments and

 

Complicated scars to

 

Remember this by-

 

Nothing to erase what

 

                       

Could have been-

Shrapnel
It's all hopeless now...
Loading...


No moon seen tonight

Hot, humid dark skies-

Heat lightning streaks and

The clouds are full of

Rain waiting to descend-

But they hold back with

Loud, gloomy threats

And blazing luster above-

These clouds dominate

The heavens explicitly

Holding a deluge at bay-


All those varied green eyes

Staring through my memories

Haunting me daily-

Making me ask myself

“Why do you let this happen?”

And finding no answers-

It felt right at the time but now

Hurts to the very gut-

‘Life isn’t fair’ is what I’ve learned

Life often sucks and we suffer

At the discrepancies of others-

No answers it seems

Just mind-crushing questions

And scary loneliness waiting-

Bad times

Journal Entry: Sun May 14, 2017, 11:46 AM


I’m going through some hostility as of late. I think I’ve already been through ‘shock’ and ‘denial’ in the first 24 hours. Now I’m in the second half for the steps: ‘anger’ (now) and ‘acceptance’ (which is the goal).

 

I feel much wronged and without too much detail, my ex-best friend just cut off all communication and then had the nerve to blame me for it.

I’m literally still wondering where his head went.

I guess it is neither here nor there since he has blocked me out. I refuse to beat my head against a brick wall.

 

My poems will likely relate and I wanted to let you know why. Hopefully, things will get better and back to normal in time. For now, just deal with the other side of me or ignore it, it doesn’t matter much as you’ve probably guessed (by the way I'm feeling).

 

:heart: take care my friends---



photo


  • Listening to: Perfect- Rick Springfield
  • Drinking: coffee

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EvilScarrlett
Melanie
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I AM the strange and unusual. I like writing poems, stories,
drawing, sewing and painting. I also like to decorate and repair my home when I have time. I work with customer service as a pharmacy claims advocate (I help pharmacies I'm contracted with to solve problems) I have 3 wonderful cats. I love dragons, crows and ravens as much as cats. I love all animals, especially to draw. I like to draw made up people too- like characters from my stories.
Just opened an Etsy shop!
www.etsy.com/shop/ScarrlettCat…
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Journal History

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconalene-writer:
Alene-Writer Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
OMG you have no idea how much your comments and faves made me happy. I appreciate you taking time to read my writings. Thank you so much. Also for the watch! <3 <3 <3
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
aww, it was no hardship, you and your writing are appreciated and very good!! :D I'm glad I took the time for you.
Reply
:iconalene-writer:
Alene-Writer Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks again :D
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
sure :)
Reply
:iconazukiel:
Azukiel Featured By Owner May 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
DOE A DEER A FEMALE DEER, RAY A POCKET FULL OF SUN. ME A NAME I CALL MYSELF.....
Reply
:iconazukiel:
Azukiel Featured By Owner May 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
THE HIIIIIIILLLLLLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIIIIIIIIIIIIC
Reply
:iconazukiel:
Azukiel Featured By Owner May 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
The moon is higher where you don't exist.
Reply
:iconazukiel:
Azukiel Featured By Owner May 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Because the sun is brighter where you are not. 
Reply
:iconazukiel:
Azukiel Featured By Owner Edited May 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Keep going, just go
(poetry? woo!)
Reply
:iconazukiel:
Azukiel Featured By Owner May 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I wonder how many of these I'm going to have to do? lol
Reply
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